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Pantsless Weirdo


Unfocused Essays from My Basement

Should happens

Handfuls of mostly-formed posts sit unpublished, waiting for me to put finishing touches on them. Multiple times a day, I mentally poke myself with scathing shame for my seeming inability to keep up with All the Things, one of which is this website. The very outlet that was meant to offset my anxiety has become …

Six Long Months

We knew January 12th was going to gut us no matter what. Six months is a significant amount of time for your mother to be dead. Any amount of time is significant when you’re talking about your mother being dead, really, but six months has a certain something about it. That’s half a year. It’s a …

Christmas porn

I think I’ve mentioned before that the holidays were always a little strange for my sisters and me growing up. Sometimes we spent Christmas with our dad in Illinois while our mom stayed behind in Georgia. She was always incredibly sad about the holidays anyway, having lost her own parents tragically and having no real …

couch surfing

Ten years ago, I was semi-homeless in the Quad Cities and had been that way for months. Since the end of the previous summer, I had been staying wherever anyone would let me crash. Most of what I owned I kept in a large duffel bag that was stashed either wherever I happened to be …

clean eating

In a recent post, I discussed issues surrounding food and bodies. As part of this, I have to bring up my general disdain for all the various approaches to foods nowadays. This is going to make me sound like a curmudgeon, and possibly a bumpkin. You are going to be overcome with an impulse to …

Christmas vat of fat

As the Christmas season descends upon us, it is impossible to escape the fat and food shaming that has become such a pervasive aspect of our culture that even the holidays are apparently not immune. Oh, I guess I’ll eat this cookie, but I’m going to be so fat thanks to Christmas. I’m definitely going to have …

Shapewear

In my last post, I ranted about why working out is annoying to me, and touched a little on why I don’t do it regularly. That post started with me talking about shapewear and how I bought some this year for the first time in my life. The reason for that purchase was that I …

Working Out

Full disclosure, this post is not written from a totally logical standpoint – rather it’s my feelings on a particular subject. Rarely is logic able to fully supersede emotion; this post and I as a human being are not an exception to that. Earlier this year I took my first trip into the confusing, uncomfortable, …