PantslessWeirdo logo - Colorized inkprint of woman sitting at her writing desk

Pantsless Weirdo


Unfocused Essays from My Basement

Vagina havingness

Vagina havingness is a condition that affects around half of the world’s population. It is a tricky predicament in that vaginas and their auxiliary parts are simultaneously delicate and tyrannical. Caring for that whole system is sort of like caring for a terrarium or a saltwater fish tank in that the meticulous attention required to keep …

clean eating

In a recent post, I discussed issues surrounding food and bodies. As part of this, I have to bring up my general disdain for all the various approaches to foods nowadays. This is going to make me sound like a curmudgeon, and possibly a bumpkin. You are going to be overcome with an impulse to …

Shapewear

In my last post, I ranted about why working out is annoying to me, and touched a little on why I don’t do it regularly. That post started with me talking about shapewear and how I bought some this year for the first time in my life. The reason for that purchase was that I …

on writing

My last post was actually supposed to contain a hilarious anecdote about my time living at that farmhouse with my dad and all the critters I had and how he helped me deal with the loss of pets as a child. But I got so caught up in the backstory that I never got there. …

Professional M-ass-age

As one of millions of uninsured Americans, I must find creative ways to treat the issues that plague me. Often the homeopathic remedy is healthier than rushing to the doctor for antibiotics, which is a common approach in our culture, though it is becoming less so. Were I insured, I probably would still employ some …

pop-ins

Recently I was on the phone with an ex boyfriend of mine with whom I still maintain a reasonably good rapport. That’s an awkward mouthful, and I could just say a friend, but the fact that we were once romantically involved is relevant to the story in that we cohabited for a little over a …