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Pantsless Weirdo


Unfocused Essays from My Basement

unusual cases

The scale let out a beep that seemed louder and longer than necessary. What if I wanted to discreetly weigh myself? The thing might as well have stood up on two feet, strutted out of the bathroom with its hands on its hips, and bellowed down the stairs, “LARDO PUT ON SOME POUNDS!!!” 177.4 pounds. Four pounds …

Tonic immobility

For two weeks after the election, I walked around in a thick haze of confusion and grief. I grieved for the nation I thought we were, for the terror that many people I care about were now facing, for the uncertainty of the four years that lay ahead. We need to give him a chance! People …

depression followup

Following my last post, I feel compelled to point out that my struggle with depression and the care I receive for it are well established. That is, depression in our household is as banal as any of our other life realities. We buy grain free dog food, the trash gets picked up on Fridays, and—sometimes …

return of the mad

When I was little, I screamed a lot. In fairness, life since my conception had been difficult. I was a restless and unhappy baby from the get-go, not only because of intrinsic issues I faced, but also because my home life was a hot mess. My parents were drinking and fighting, splitting up and getting …

Toxic Smoke Meltdown

Some days, being an adult is near impossible. Yesterday was one of those days. I am naturally more introverted than extroverted, which means that in order to replenish my energy I need to be away from crowds, people, noise. Truthfully, I need to be at home. I can recharge away from home (in a hotel room while …

Bipolar Bear

Let’s talk about Bipolar II Disorder, shall we? Like I stated in my last post, I have had every intention of discussing it here. I wanted to do it within my own timeframe, but there is also a certain freedom in having your hand forced. No more procrastination. No more rationalizations for why now is …