The season of silence

The holidays are looming large and I can’t say that I am very excited about them at all. My relationship with the holidays has always been complicated. Our mom tried her hardest to make them warm and fun, but even as young children we could see the sadness in her eyes and feel the heaviness … [Read more…]

four months

Four months ago you left us. Last week as I slept in a hotel room just outside Chicago, I dreamed of you and I wept in my sleep. I wept so hard in my sleep that I audibly cried out until I awakened myself. You were so vivid in my dream that it took me … [Read more…]

two months

Yesterday marked two months since my mom’s death. The vastness that stretches between that day and this one is insurmountable and impossible to articulate. It is a space too large to be filled with my sadness, with the shattered bits of my broken heart and the broken hearts of my sisters. Going for two days … [Read more…]

grieving on a jet plane

Grieving is such challenging work. Tomorrow marks six weeks since we buried our mother. I can feel some people groaning, shifting uncomfortably at that. So you’re still having feelings about that? Do we have to talk about it?  Yes. Yes, we do. Or at least *I* do. Because it’s not over. There is no such … [Read more…]