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Pantsless Weirdo


Unfocused Essays from My Basement

Sixty-third

Dear Mama, Happy birthday. You would have been 63 today. You would have hated being in your 60s, I’m sure. Still, I think you would have aged well given the chance. I hadn’t realized how little I have written here because I have written here, I just haven’t published. This blog has 85 published posts, …

unusual cases

The scale let out a beep that seemed louder and longer than necessary. What if I wanted to discreetly weigh myself? The thing might as well have stood up on two feet, strutted out of the bathroom with its hands on its hips, and bellowed down the stairs, “LARDO PUT ON SOME POUNDS!!!” 177.4 pounds. Four pounds …

Tonic immobility

For two weeks after the election, I walked around in a thick haze of confusion and grief. I grieved for the nation I thought we were, for the terror that many people I care about were now facing, for the uncertainty of the four years that lay ahead. We need to give him a chance! People …

Life in snippets

Ten weeks ago I was furiously cleaning my house in anticipation of possibly going into labor, though I had no idea that I would actually give birth in just a couple of days. My swollen feet matched my ripe belly, and I was fueled purely by frustration. I did not love being pregnant. I did …